Dead Ebb

I bet every one of you has been at a party where things get pretty exciting and there's fine music, the peeps get crazy and everyone seems to be having a heck of a time.

Then, I dunno, people starts leaving, or gets generally drunk, or the music sucks like an electrolux, up until the point where everyone is laying in a heap in the middle of the living room, wishing they were somewhere else, or dead, or a combination of the two.

That's what I call a Dead Ebb. And I'm just dragging my life through one as I write these words.

I think it's gonna be a pretty short one, mind you, but still, it just feels deadly quiet around here.

Dead Ebbs 101, how to get to one

The way I see it, you can end up on a dead ebb if any of the following conditions are met:

1 You accomplish a rather large objective, and are done with the celebrations.
2 You accomplish the first stage of an even larger objective, realizing you'll need to work your ass out to get to the second or third one.
3 You have to accomplish an objective that you don't really feel like getting to.
4 No matter what you do, your life might be utterly affected by decisions beyond your reach or people beyond your knowledge....while you have to stand there and take it.
5 You had a specially stressful time, survived it, and now wonder where the fuck to stuff all the excess adrenaline.

If these conditions combine, you're in for a helluva dead ebb.

Now let's get to my case:

* I won the magic nationals, and I'm well done with the partying. 1.
* I finally got the magic to work and started dating the mighty DragonSlayer. And man am I happy about it. However, let's say that things got complicated for factors outside the both of us and we have a long and windy road ahead of us. Number 2 it is.
* Ack! the cursed thesis work! Now I have the time and I'd even say the motivation to finish it, but dude! BOOOORING!! Scratch it for number 3
* As much as DS and I like each other, mighty forces are clashing all around us, and our relationship might be endangered because of people and decisions that have nothing to do with the relationship itself. Besides, I quit my work as a teacher for the Javeriana University, which is good because it was becoming friggin' hell, but bad because I'll have to find another source for continuous income or keep it up hard with the freelancin' Double score for number 4.
* And finally, I just, well, crept out of what was quite possibly the most stressful weekend of my life (add Monday to the mix, this monday was a week long, believe me) and it was one fucking rough ride. My therapist did a beautiful job on cleaning most of the demons that appeared, so good in fact that this relax I feel now is almost unnatural compared to the unadulterated schyzophrenia I endured those days. Score for number 5

And there's many other things too, you know that feeling you get when it seems like you're finally close to get something, and then you realize you might have to wait for more than half a year for it? It's bad my fellas, bad bad bad. Worst of it all is knowing that the waiting is going to be all worth it, but still you wonder what the fuck are you going to do in the meantime.

Heh, the funny thing is that you had full access to it like a couple months ago, and threw it away, because it was too horrifying to keep on taking it.

Even funnier, If I had to choose it all again, in full knowledge of what was going to come and its consequences, I'd choose this way again and again and again.

That's right my dear, you read well, I'd choose you time after time.

So, let's hope for the best, for we've played our cards the best. You always fall on your feet and I'm learning to do so myself.